The Price Of Daydreams
by Yandere Kirkland chan
Summary: Daydreams couldn't hurt you, could they? What will happen when Arthur takes daydreams too far? Can his family discover what is going through their youngest sibling's mind? Trigger warning. Suicidal thoughts. No direct signs of depression.
1. Chapter 1

**THE PRICE OF DAYDREAMS**

CHAPTER 1

 **A/N: I have no idea where this came from. Well maybe I do but moving on. There will be multiple chapters of the same event but from different POVs then a conclusion one. They might take me a while to come up with, write then update but I will put them up. Promise. So yeah. Moral: don't day dream kidz (cus I'm hip init).**

 _Arthur's POV_

It was a normal day. Well not completely normal, my family was over which is a rare treat. Alistor, Erin, Seamus, Dylan and I were in town just messing around in the shops. We had just gone to the cinema and were reluctant to go home so soon. It always makes me so happy being with my siblings. I'm not one to be depressed but being immortal (to some extent) is tiring sometimes and having company for once is always welcome. I like my life. I am a proud personification of England, the greatest country in the world! It was just a harmless daydream I swear.

You see, in my country as of late there has been a sudden increase in awareness of certain issues such as depression and suicide. I find it saddening really, so many beautiful young people taking their own lives because of unnecessary hurtful things said or done. Everyone knows someone who wants to take their own lives and almost everyone feels depressed to some extent. It's at times like these I feel so helpless. I wish that I could influence my people like they can influence me. But instead I have to stand back and watch.

We were all on the second floor of a big shop, one of those ones that seem to sell everything. It was rather pretty from where I was standing. The second floor ended in a balcony but the floor below went on for a little longer and you could look down and see the people below. If you looked straight ahead you could see the river through a wall made of glass. The Thames was beautiful, it had definitely improved in hygiene since my pirate days.

We were passing the balcony now, browsing in the shelves nearby, so I decided to go closer to it. I was not touching it, still two or three meters away, but close enough to see the people below. I suddenly noticed how far down it was. Well not _that_ far but still pretty far. Might even be far enough to kill me. I froze. _What?_ I had no idea where that had come from but for some reason I started to humour it.

Was this the type of place people would think of committing suicide? Some person just going about their normal day's shopping, seeing the drop and deciding to end it? It might be too close to the ground to actually kill, just hurt very badly. But maybe if you went head first… yes that would do it, your head would take full impact, cracking your skull, exposing your brain and snapping your neck too. But would gravity and momentum maybe spin your legs around too soon? That might still work but you would probably just go into a coma with broken bones. Maybe just be unconscious for a couple of days and wake up in hospital with concussion, broken bones and a therapist.

I winced. To do something like this you would have to be careful. If it didn't work you would be in for a rough time. If you jumped in front of a train, car or into a road of a building, you could hurt, maybe even kill, someone else. This required thought. You also had to act quickly. People could realise any second and stop you. If you were jumping you would have to be able to get over any bars blocking the way quickly and easily and make sure people below didn't look up, they might call an ambulance or something and you had to maximise the time without professionals or they could revive you.

I looked at the balcony. That bar looked low enough for me to climb over. I _might_ be able to hop straight over but that caused the risk of tripping. Tripping over the edge to the ground floor was okay, it was tripping and falling back the way I had come from that worries me. I would cause a massive noise and people around me would start asking what had happened. They would work it out then be horrified. There would be too much explaining.

No. The other way would take longer and increase the risk of being found out but still. I would sit on the edge, then swing my feet over and lean myself forward, would that be enough to tip me over? Maybe not so I'd push myself too and then I would be falling. I could feel that curved greasy plastic of the rail underneath me as I pushed myself forward over it, I could feel the transition between that and the empty air, the air rushing past me was so vivid; through my hair, rippling my clothes, making me breathless and squint my eyes, the speed of my decent would increase until finally: impact. It would shake my entire body. There would be a couple of milliseconds of no change: my body's reaction time. Then pain. As my bones shattered blood oozing as my breath hitched and systems started to fail. My blood would form a puddle, reaching the Christmas tree, why was that still there at this time of year? But I would not know that as my mind would be blank, never to think again. Yes that was it.

Suddenly a hand was gripping my arm. I gasped, falling back from having been so stiff. I looked up to see Alistor holding me firmly with a worried frown on his face. Somehow he managed to look worried, comforting and forbidding at the same time. I looked around disorientated. All my family was looking at me with concern.

I suddenly felt embarrassed which was completely wiped away with a feeling of horror. What the hell had I been thinking? I had almost tried to kill myself. _Kill. My. Self!_ I had almost DIED! I was so close to… and then everything would be _over_. Forever. There would be no turning back. I suddenly felt really light headed and started to rock on my feet, threatening to pass out.

I vaguely felt one of my brothers pulling me into a hug, supporting my body and guiding me to what must have been an exit. My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it, it was all I could hear, the only thing loud enough to compete with it was my rapid breaths. I wasn't blind but I couldn't concentrate enough to see, well more like register what I _was_ seeing. I think I might have giggled a bit. I pressed into the secure grip of my brother and blacked out.


	2. Chapter 2

**THE PRICE OF DAYDREAMS**

CHAPTER 2

 **A/N: Hiya! Next chapter: Scotland's POV. Each chapter is of the same events but they progress a bit more. So there will be 5 chapters like that then an end chapter which I'm not quite sure yet if it will be a POV or not. Probably not. Well I hope you like it!**

 _Alistor's POV:_

I hated myself for not noticing there was something wrong straight away. By the time I saw him Arthur was completely still, staring down to the tiled floor far below us. How long had he been like that without me noticing? My heart froze then decided to make up for it by beating triple the normal amount. No I couldn't lose him! He was-heck- _is_ my baby brother.

Why? What was going through his mind? What was he thinking? Was he feeling unloved? Was it something I did? Pain burnt through my body at that thought and refused to leave. Guilt, dread and plain fear weighed deep in my gut.

I suddenly cursed myself violently with the realisation that I should be preventing this. I lunged forward, grabbing Arthur's arm hard, it might even leave bruises but I held onto his arm with all the strength I wanted to hold onto _him_ as if he might drift away if I was too light. Apparently I had trapped him just on time as when I did he had started to move towards the edge, as if in a trance.

Our violent collision seemed to snap him out of it (whatever _it_ was) and he recoiled, looking around in panic. When Arthur looked up at me my heart broke. He looked so fragile and confused, so breakable and delicate like the child I knew him to be.

By then my brothers and sister had noticed what was going on. I could tell that they were all as shocked, worried and confused as I was but I wouldn't take my eyes of Arthur. I didn't know what to say so I used my look to try and tell him what I felt, tell him what he needed to know. I wanted to express to him that I loved him with all my being, that I didn't hate him or think less of him now or even blame him I just wanted to know _why_ , I wanted to show him that there was no reason to do… _that_ , and that I was here for him, to comfort and hep but that he should _never_ even _try_ to do that again and if he did I would stop him.

I wasn't specifically trying to express that in a look but it was what I was thinking and feeling and I hoped that Arthur could see that in my face and eyes. But I think I must have just looked threatening.

Arthur was trembling. I could feel it with my hand that was still holding on tightly which I didn't intend to let go but I could also see him shaking uncontrollably. I looked at him and could tell that this was all too much for him. He started swaying on his feet, he had paled. I looked up and saw that his beautiful green eyes were rolling back in his head. I quickly pulled him by his arm into my embrace, supporting him.

His legs, no, entire body gave way and he collapsed into me. He was so _light_. Did he ever eat? His back was draped against my chest as I rocked him back and forth, soothing him. He had worked himself into a state and was clearly sick.

He needed to get home. Fuck the doctors, I think that that environment is bad for a sick person as it was so different to normal. It's like if you are sick then being moved to a hospital is _defining_ it. That may not make much sense outside of my head but it's what I feel. No, Arthur was coming straight home and into his familiar, comfortable bed where we would look after him and determine whether we should call the doctor in or be able to handle it ourselves.

With my tight grip I could feel his pulse racing. _Shit_ that wasn't good. He was completely out of it by then. His head had lolled back and was resting in the crook of my neck. He was smiling sweetly, eyes half lidded, his smile looked eerie to me. He let out a giggle. I sighed and ran a hand through his gold dust hair, massaging circles in his head. His form relaxed even more in my arms as he passed out in my arms. Good, he could use the rest.

I started guiding him out like that but his body just dragged along like dead weight, I didn't like it. I hoisted him up and held him on my front carrying him out inside. I finally looked around. My siblings looked pale. They were eyeing Arthur's unconscious body with concern and confusion. Where had this come from? Arthur had been absolutely fine earlier, laughing along with us, talking and smiling, what happened? We would have to find out later because right now Arthur was sick and he needed us to get him home.

On the way out some random people came up to me, trying to ask what was happening, if Arthur was okay, couldn't they see they were blocking the way? I needed to get Arthur _home_ couldn't they see that? I pushed past them, angrily, not slowing my stride a single second.

Finally I was out the door. It was cold outside, really cold. I looked down to see if England was okay with that, whether I should wrap him in my coat or something, but he was fine. He smiled slightly, pulling himself closer to my chest. He looked relieved as the frosty wind licked his flaming skin. I smiled, he was so cute. The smile turned slightly sad thinking about _why_ he was snuggling cutely into me.

I hurried to the car. I was aware of the fact I had left the others behind a while ago, probably when all those _idiots_ got in my way in the shop. I unlocked the car and wrenched back the doors. I had to collect myself and calm down before placing Arthur inside, I didn't want to hurt him. By the time I had lowered him into the car and had him comfortably resting against me, my siblings had arrived.

Wales looked at me, siting in the back with England, for a moment before taking my normal place in the driver's seat without being asked. The boy has some brains, I thought. As Wales started the car I gasped slightly, wincing as the movement rocked England's body. I pulled him closer to me, taking comfort in his familiar sweet smell of honey and strawberries.

The car journey was silent as we were all left to our own thoughts, with me slowly stroking and massaging Arthur soothingly. Silence was the best thing for that moment as when we talked it would have to be serious and now was not the time. Suddenly North broke the silence with a _stupid_ joke and his laugh and goofy smile made me want to punch his face in. In fact, the only thing stopping me was that if I did I would be letting England's head fall.

We arrived at England's house (where we were staying for now) I picked Arthur up again and kicked down the door. It took a while for me to reach his bedroom. Why the fuck did he need such a big house? I pulled back the covers of his bed with one hand and delicately placed Arthur down. As I stood back I finally had a chance to look at him. He looked better than at the shop at least. His face was flushed and his eyes were puffy, with tear streaks down his cheeks. He looked so peaceful as he slept and there was a dainty smile on his lips. I collapsed by his side. _Oh England._

 **A/N: Follow, favourite and review?**


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